Current iTunes: The Spill Canvas - All Hail the Heart Breaker


I stumble through countless thoughts. Do you ever do that? Sit down and think about what your happenings? Past and Present? I don't need to ask about the future ones, because I don't think I know anyone who doesn't at least flirt with thoughts of future adventures. Where do we go from here, Captain?

Well to start my rant on the future, I delve into the past. Crazy? Considerably. I'm a firm believer (only in the past year or so) that in order to envision your future, you need to revert to past mistakes and successes. Did I really do that? HAHA! Did you REALLY do that? Oh SHIT! Am I going to do that shit again? There are many things I'm not proud of in life, none of which will dictate MY future. Friends are lost [check], friends gained [check] moments in life I regret [not one]. I think that everything I've ever done has led me to here, and now.

Let go of the past and the future and celebrate the here and now- because that is what is real. - -Tom Noonan

I chose this quote because not only do the words hold good meaning, but their meaning was intensified when given from someone I have the deepest respect and love for. (No, not Tom). Not to mention that it holds relevance to my rant.

In reference to my point, the last part of the quote states that here and now is real. Is it really? I can tell you from experience what is REAL. It's not past or future, it's Love. I tattooed it on my ribs for this reason. What's real, is love.
Love for education, love for music, love for family, love for passion and love for people. I've been in love only a few times in my life, but every time I tried to take past experiences and learn from them, so that I could appreciate the here and the now without feeling miserably nostalgic and hopelessly searching endless thoughts for what's in store in my next chapter.

I have come to terms with my past, in fact, the Past and I duke it out occasionally. I guess the direction I'm taking this confession is even though I've conquered the past, I still have a row here and there about the future, it's inevitable. It's especially difficult when you have days like I've had today. Insecurities, long days, long distances, sick loved ones and brutal workouts. I'm not too sure what my future holds for me, though I can assure you that it will include all my love and passion. I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow, but for now, I think I'll just sit back and celebrate the here and the now, because you know what? This is the best "now" has felt in a long time, and I LOVE it.