Current iTunes: The Spill Canvas - All Hail the Heart Breaker
I stumble through countless thoughts. Do you ever do that? Sit down and think about what your happenings? Past and Present? I don't need to ask about the future ones, because I don't think I know anyone who doesn't at least flirt with thoughts of future adventures. Where do we go from here, Captain?
Well to start my rant on the future, I delve into the past. Crazy? Considerably. I'm a firm believer (only in the past year or so) that in order to envision your future, you need to revert to past mistakes and successes. Did I really do that? HAHA! Did you REALLY do that? Oh SHIT! Am I going to do that shit again? There are many things I'm not proud of in life, none of which will dictate MY future. Friends are lost [check], friends gained [check] moments in life I regret [not one]. I think that everything I've ever done has led me to here, and now.
Let go of the past and the future and celebrate the here and now- because that is what is real. - -Tom Noonan
I chose this quote because not only do the words hold good meaning, but their meaning was intensified when given from someone I have the deepest respect and love for. (No, not Tom). Not to mention that it holds relevance to my rant.
In reference to my point, the last part of the quote states that here and now is real. Is it really? I can tell you from experience what is REAL. It's not past or future, it's Love. I tattooed it on my ribs for this reason. What's real, is love.
Love for education, love for music, love for family, love for passion and love for people. I've been in love only a few times in my life, but every time I tried to take past experiences and learn from them, so that I could appreciate the here and the now without feeling miserably nostalgic and hopelessly searching endless thoughts for what's in store in my next chapter.
I have come to terms with my past, in fact, the Past and I duke it out occasionally. I guess the direction I'm taking this confession is even though I've conquered the past, I still have a row here and there about the future, it's inevitable. It's especially difficult when you have days like I've had today. Insecurities, long days, long distances, sick loved ones and brutal workouts. I'm not too sure what my future holds for me, though I can assure you that it will include all my love and passion. I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow, but for now, I think I'll just sit back and celebrate the here and the now, because you know what? This is the best "now" has felt in a long time, and I LOVE it.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
current iTunes: Reliant K - Who I am Hates Who I've Been
WOOAH. Yesterday was eventful. I get a call early in the morning from Beth saying she was in an accident, (heart attack #1) luckilly she was ok, aside from some nasty damage to the front of her car. I went with her to the most rediculously expensive body shop I could find for a quote, so Tucker and I could get more money from the insurance company to work on her car. Well, that went great, because a small fender bender turned out to be $3800...How much fun can we have with that money to fix her repairs and BEYOND, WAY beyond. So her car will hit the shop in the next month or so with some luck. (if we ever finish Randy's hellacious Rabbit Project).
Matt was stood up by the girl he asked to dinner with us last night, but he'll get the revenge, as she works at our gym and he sees her daily, as if that's not enough to get back at her and make her feel awkward.
Heart attack #2: Beth calls while we are at dinner (she's supposed to be there), Beth's hood FLEW UP TOMMY BOY STYLE AND SMASHED HER WINDSHIELD! What the fuck! But it all worked out, because she, Melissa and Kristen all ended up coming and having dinner and some Soppora! (mmm). We went back to there place afterwards and had some drinks too, so by the end of my night I was nice and toasty. **Apologies to all who were recipients of my drunken calls and were made into dialees**
Anywho, workout date with Matt in a few hours, and an opportunity to rub this shit in that girl's face for standing up my boy. Good luck to the girls and your meet!
WOOAH. Yesterday was eventful. I get a call early in the morning from Beth saying she was in an accident, (heart attack #1) luckilly she was ok, aside from some nasty damage to the front of her car. I went with her to the most rediculously expensive body shop I could find for a quote, so Tucker and I could get more money from the insurance company to work on her car. Well, that went great, because a small fender bender turned out to be $3800...How much fun can we have with that money to fix her repairs and BEYOND, WAY beyond. So her car will hit the shop in the next month or so with some luck. (if we ever finish Randy's hellacious Rabbit Project).
Matt was stood up by the girl he asked to dinner with us last night, but he'll get the revenge, as she works at our gym and he sees her daily, as if that's not enough to get back at her and make her feel awkward.
Heart attack #2: Beth calls while we are at dinner (she's supposed to be there), Beth's hood FLEW UP TOMMY BOY STYLE AND SMASHED HER WINDSHIELD! What the fuck! But it all worked out, because she, Melissa and Kristen all ended up coming and having dinner and some Soppora! (mmm). We went back to there place afterwards and had some drinks too, so by the end of my night I was nice and toasty. **Apologies to all who were recipients of my drunken calls and were made into dialees**
Anywho, workout date with Matt in a few hours, and an opportunity to rub this shit in that girl's face for standing up my boy. Good luck to the girls and your meet!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Current iTunes: Acceptance - I Miss You
Well well. I had a few minutes today, and it's been 2 months(!) since my last confession. Holy shit, I'm a slack in that regard. I'll do a brief recap. These 2 months have been riveting, to put things mildly. Now, I apologize for jumping around on things a little here, after all, this is a confession, and I write things as they surface in my memory, however I will choose to omit some of my experiences as I want to fully engulf their meanings before I share them with everyone. (If my random thoughts give you any indication of the state of complete unrest that I unfortunately find myself in more often then desired, then my blog is successful in that regard). I will say that my mornings, and evenings have grown long, even after a shaky year or confusion and pangs, they somehow just got even longer. What do guys (and ladies) in their 20's do when they are unsure, or in a state to which they want to forget; we drown it. Alcohol? Probably, herbal tobacco? Yea I think so. But these days, ANYTHING to keep my mind moving will suffice. I work almost non-stop, party as much as possible, which seems to be on the upswing (thank God). My new workout partner is the shit (Matt), he's helping me push myself a lot more then I've been able to in a long time, just in time for the summer (mmmmmm.. Summer).
Feb 7, well well. That was a fun night, mostly. the Panic! At the Disco concert was absolutely ridiculous and amazing. I had a great time with that. Afterwards Tucker and I spent some time hanging out in downtown Prov, not as much as I wanted to (eat me Tucker), but I did enjoy it overall. Now, for some reason, ever since then, is when my long mornings/nights kicked in, I suppose I could figure out why easy enough, but as previously stated, I'm going to drown and omit this partucular segment, as hashing out seems to be a waste of time and a not so merry-fucking-go-round of bullshit. Valentines day: hahaha. Turned out surprisingly well considering I'm single. I worked, but it's all good. This Thursday should be a blast, I'm looking forward to it. FUJI RESTAURANT in Portland, ME! All of my Maine people will certainly know the caliber of this place, as well as the out-of-staters to whom I've preached to about it. I'm headed there with (surprise surprise) my USM crew with a reservation of 10. Myself, James, Beth, T, Rob, Jamie, Andy, Rita, and Joey and Renee were supposed to come, but he has to work late (damn you), so we'll fill this slot with someone I'm sure.
My birthday is coming up!!!! What more is there to say really? It's going to be wild, and I'm sure someone will have a party on my behalf (I'm expecting big things from all of you).
Alright, I'm sweaty, and my legs require icing. OHOH, my first qualifying race of the seasons is April 8th! Route 66 race, should be a fairly easy take down, as I hear it's a pretty easy course and I promise no one has been training this early in the year as I have. Stay tuned, as one will pop up closer to home if anyone wants to be my cheering section. ;-)
Have a good day everyone! I'll be more disciplined when it comes to writing this.
Well well. I had a few minutes today, and it's been 2 months(!) since my last confession. Holy shit, I'm a slack in that regard. I'll do a brief recap. These 2 months have been riveting, to put things mildly. Now, I apologize for jumping around on things a little here, after all, this is a confession, and I write things as they surface in my memory, however I will choose to omit some of my experiences as I want to fully engulf their meanings before I share them with everyone. (If my random thoughts give you any indication of the state of complete unrest that I unfortunately find myself in more often then desired, then my blog is successful in that regard). I will say that my mornings, and evenings have grown long, even after a shaky year or confusion and pangs, they somehow just got even longer. What do guys (and ladies) in their 20's do when they are unsure, or in a state to which they want to forget; we drown it. Alcohol? Probably, herbal tobacco? Yea I think so. But these days, ANYTHING to keep my mind moving will suffice. I work almost non-stop, party as much as possible, which seems to be on the upswing (thank God). My new workout partner is the shit (Matt), he's helping me push myself a lot more then I've been able to in a long time, just in time for the summer (mmmmmm.. Summer).
Feb 7, well well. That was a fun night, mostly. the Panic! At the Disco concert was absolutely ridiculous and amazing. I had a great time with that. Afterwards Tucker and I spent some time hanging out in downtown Prov, not as much as I wanted to (eat me Tucker), but I did enjoy it overall. Now, for some reason, ever since then, is when my long mornings/nights kicked in, I suppose I could figure out why easy enough, but as previously stated, I'm going to drown and omit this partucular segment, as hashing out seems to be a waste of time and a not so merry-fucking-go-round of bullshit. Valentines day: hahaha. Turned out surprisingly well considering I'm single. I worked, but it's all good. This Thursday should be a blast, I'm looking forward to it. FUJI RESTAURANT in Portland, ME! All of my Maine people will certainly know the caliber of this place, as well as the out-of-staters to whom I've preached to about it. I'm headed there with (surprise surprise) my USM crew with a reservation of 10. Myself, James, Beth, T, Rob, Jamie, Andy, Rita, and Joey and Renee were supposed to come, but he has to work late (damn you), so we'll fill this slot with someone I'm sure.
My birthday is coming up!!!! What more is there to say really? It's going to be wild, and I'm sure someone will have a party on my behalf (I'm expecting big things from all of you).
Alright, I'm sweaty, and my legs require icing. OHOH, my first qualifying race of the seasons is April 8th! Route 66 race, should be a fairly easy take down, as I hear it's a pretty easy course and I promise no one has been training this early in the year as I have. Stay tuned, as one will pop up closer to home if anyone wants to be my cheering section. ;-)
Have a good day everyone! I'll be more disciplined when it comes to writing this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
